Saturday, January 12, 2019

My Journey at ASEP 2018

ASEP 2018 was a tough journey, yet it was very impressive for me.

I have always been very keen in participating international event, especially environmental and technological issue. I jolted in happiness when I was accepted to represent my university and rushed to prepare everything. However, it was not as smooth as I expected.

My biggest issue is my own insecurity and personality. It  is an uncomfortable experience for me to meet new people and build relationship as I am both shy and introvert. Due to my clumsiness, I usually behave oddly and give erronous impression to people around me. I am happy, despite lack of chemistry with my Indonesian team, they’re very welcoming and supportive during this event. I am very new to international event and conference. Many of my fellow Indonesians are experts! They are very experienced and mature to attend ASEP 2018! I  felt much more blessed to know I am given such opportunity to learn together with them.

The first day in Malaysia, I took up the big opportunity to explore Kuala Lumpur, a city 40 km away from ASEP ‘settlement’ in Putrajaya. The first dinner was very fancy and delightful for me. I wish I could take away all of them!
FAKTANYA banner UI keliling dunia sementara gue belom

Best make up so far
The second day in Malaysia was the first mark of my ASEP journey. We’re given enough time to prepare and pack to head University of Malaya. I was caught by surprise when we took extreme turn to the Rimba Ilmu Malaya before attending the opening ceremony. I acknowledge it was my own fault of not paying enough attention to schedule. It was both funny and exhilarating to go there, while some of participants were wearing high heels! Lucky me! I wore my usual pair of shoes.

fancy dinner

I talked with my teammate for the first time there, Ayoung from South Korea. She wore pretty dress and seemed very eloquent in making friends and chit chatting. We took some pictures there. I remembered we were discussing about the bamboo trees that was apparently different from Korean’s bamboos. However, as Indonesian, these bamboos are common sight. So I learnt new things about Korean bamboos which are actually different species than Southeastern species

After that we headed to Putrajaya wetland and maybe my favorite spot. First reason is, this wetland and the whole water management system in Putrajaya was very sophisticated. They took a great deal of engineering and architecture to design it. The emphasize of sustainability was very visible in Putrajaya wetland. 

The tour guide was very helpful and I asked a lot about the fish in that place. I am accustomed to this ecology as I learnt a great deal from Synbio club in my university. Recently, Indonesia had problem with Arapaima fish and we discussed thoroughly on that issue. As Putrajaya wetland is an open water area, it seems they’re not lacking from predatory problem that threatened the natural detritivor there. In Indonesia, they also used same tactic to control this invasive predator. They delegated fishing activity. Yet, Indonesian’s rivers are interconnected and has very complex structure, so there is no clear cut area to control their distribution. I was very sad not being able to share my insight on e-DNA to my group as it was one of the proposed idea we got in Synbio club.

The second most interesting spot is their perennial plant in the wetland cell. It was said to act as water filtration system that increased the lake water quality. I think this is a very interesting concept for Jakarta too. As Jakarta has very bad water quality in the river and its bay, bioremediation might be a good available solution. I discussed this study too on my paper but incorporating genetical engineering technology. I designed a cosmopolit bacteria that is able to reduce mercury waste and die on its own after finishing the mission. I am very happy to find out, at least, In Malaysia they have tried the first alternative.

After some visits, we’re allowed to take photos around Putrajaya destination spot. It was top notch and beautiful. This city is fantastic, no traffic jam, excellent water management, and breathtaking view! I got maybe the best selfie ever in this place!
I love my eyebrows....

First night, we got lecture on palm oil sustainability. I am grateful that I got opportunity to ask Professor Nik Meriam about her comment on how can palm oil be more sustainable. I guess the mechanical process improvement was a great insight to look at. After all, I believe palm oil plantation is not sustainable enough. Even though they don’t contribute so much on global warming, we shouldn’t look on the perspective of humanity alone, we know that rainforest is not only unknown treasure box for us, but a whole home and ecosystem for the dwellers. There are lot of biodiversity there. Rainforest is technically their ‘home’.

The third day in Malaysia, the quest is getting more difficult. We’re given some stuffs yesterday in goodie bag. Yet I threw away the shoes protection. I didn’t mind though for the dirt on my shoes though. So the tree planting activity was very exhausting! I was very happy that Ayoung, Van, Chen, and I made great gardeners! We managed to overcome the difficulty and plant, maybe, 6 until 7 trees. 

We were very enthusiastic after listening that our trees would be home for native fireflies. They would spend rest of their lives in our artificial ecology. 

In Malaysia, there are so many palm oil plantation. You can even see that from above. Giving a breath of fresh air for natural habitat would help a lot. Earth is not only our home anyway.

After that, we continued the journey to Crystal hotel to have lunch and listen the lecture. AEON business strategy aims for sustainability. Maybe, my favorite thing is how AEON really taking up such issue and delegating many tree plantings around the world(or specifically Asia!). 

However, the AC was very cold. Van and I agreed that we could not stay focus there. So Van took initiative to request for controlling the room temperature. What we got was way more surprising, rather than increasing the room temperature, they handled us blanket to wrap up together! Many participants must have envied us greatly!

After the lecture, we went a long way to FRIM. The crown shyness at FRIM was very beautiful. The location was pretty hard to reach as we had to hike a difficult path. It was sad that Ka Anggi could not witness the beauty as she was sick. We must be very lucky because during ASEP, the rain was very friendly and never came down during the trip!

Departing from FRIM, we headed to Shah Alam. We were going to visit AEON mall there. As being told, AEON mall is very attentive to the customer so they took up regional customer palatibility and preference into their account. Shah Alam was filled by Malay Muslims so the ambeience was more modest. The greatest regret about this tour was... Not enough time! I didn’t have enough time to eat and buy souvenirs at the same time. I would love to spend more time there. ASEP 2018 had a very tight and busy schedule. 

Like usual, the next day, the challenge was raised. I was very sad that time goes fast. So I remembered that we were set up to see some rubber process something or such, but unfortunately I didn’t know what happened, we didn’t do that. 

The peak of this day was the visit to Mah Meri cultural village. It was such a great experience as the style of trip was enjoyable. We’re not only being lectured but we could get involved. So after we arrived and wore a certain crown, we tried to make origami or anyaman in Indonesian. I am very poor at handicraft so it was so slow for me to digest the pattern to make keris, which looked like a piece of cake for Mah Meri villagers. My friends were also more talented as they quickly proceeded to another workshop.

The second workshop was sculpture. Of course, we’re not making stuffs alone but we were very satisfied back then. The museum was filled by many incredible handicrafts. They were aestethically gorgeous and listed by UNESCO as precious heritage. 

The most momentous event must be the wedding ceremony! It was very fun and unique. Ben the groom was such a funny man! The event became more cheerful when Mr Son from Vietnam showed his talent in dancing and being funny! As we joined the dance, it was very exciting time. Like usual, we must proceed and skip to another event.

The beach cleaning made me functionally useless. The beach location was very remote and it took 30 minutes or more to reach. The beach was arid and there were many washed away trash. Kakrona, my friend from Cambodia, was very high spirited in cleaning the whole shore. She even dug the trash from dead tree trunks. It was pretty short and we headed back again to bus. I was very nauseous as my visual snow syndrom attacked at the beach. It was very unpleasant moment for me.

After that, we returned to hotel. We have expected that night would be a long night. 

So we had a more urgent condition. The brainstorming during this session was more intense than before. However, I would say that this time was the most critical time for my own self development. I am told that usually I am too dominant and forceful on my idea. I could not fathom much of people’s feeling. So, as I have made priority, I would not try to aim as best group and such by over managing the detail during ASEP program. I tried to respect and value each idea of my team, despite my own opinion about it. I tried to convince people to improve their idea without being so aggressive. I was very exhausted and my body was not designed to overworking activity. Moreover, dealing social problem was not skill I could be proud of. So I was very displeased with the portion distribution. It might be the less I cared at that time as we haven’t found one ‘innovative’ solution to preserve rainforest.

I cared more on technological aspect yet the winning voice in my team was law and policy. I didn’t know where they belong as law and policy might be the last sanctuary I would prefer in my country. The implementation of law was flawed and very feeble in my country yet I need to find something in which I could feel happy and my friends are satisfied too.

As I was assigned to do the job on innovation, I think I worked it out very well. As spoiler alert! Group C didn’t get to be the best group, I felt satisfied enough as I managed to overcome my selfish desire and able to work in weirdly semifunctional group of ‘just-get-known-one-another’ team. I believe this was the first step for my self development and how I should tackle difficulty in group work. My idea was well received by my team and Ye Mahn aka David was very excited to refine, give input, and disseminate the idea to my other teammates, who were working on the background slides.

So we overworked indeed. I was very tired and unable to continue furthermore so I excused myself and went to my room. I told my friend to call me if there was anything urgent. Yet it seemed they worked well.

The next day might be the saddest time as we ought to bid farewell. So, the Sunday was more relaxed. We could take a bit sleep and went to UM after that. The presentation was mediocre yet I knew we did very well. The presentation was not as creative as anyone else, and our team didn’t put much spotlight on the solution. However, I assure, I was completely satisfied with my team and the result. We’re happy for the deserving team to win the best group.

tear jerking moment

The closing ceremony was EXTREMELY fun. It made us harder to leave and say goodbye to each other. My friends were even crying. We promised to keep in touch as my inner insecurity self told me: be careful how you loosely maintain your relationship. But, what I need to keep in mind is... I should put effort to our newly built relationship.

The performance form every country was exceptional. I was very nervous as my country might seem to be a wreckage. I performed a rather ‘out of my comfort zone’ show. I tried to pretend as a confident woman walking down the catwalk! Can’t you believe that?

The time flies. I returned to my home country. I brought all the feeling, knowledge, and especially, new friends along. I am very contented with this event. However, I wish ASEP should be longer so we could interact more and discussed more deeply.

valuable things from ASEP 2018:
  •    I learnt that connecting with nature could increase our sensibility as part of ecology. I recalled that after the tiresome planting activity, some of my friends felt invested toward the trees they’ve just planted and mentioned how it would hurt them if someone cut the trees again. They realized that ‘building home’ was not easy task. Fireflies and all other living being are also part of our family in this earth. However, we usually feel indifferent toward them and act selfishly because we didn’t know them and didn’t interact with them. The more we share time with nature, a mutual feeling that we shared amongst living beings seeped into our conciousness. It will call for higher awareness on environmental issue
  •  I got new fantastic friends and learnt a lot from them. We’re so different yet Similar. I feel like being part of Asian brotherhood now!
  •    I learnt how to connect to people, to respect their idea, to build a good team, and work together. I feel refreshed to know that I did a good job in managing my group, even though we didn’t know one another initially and we’re from different country and culture.
  • I was able to contribute! I believe that how small changes I made will move the mountain one day. When I planted trees with my friend, we were making connection there, a mutual experience and investation, manifested in sweaty gardening activity. We will come back again and see the fireflies one day!
  • I learnt to appreciate everything that I had, something that I hardly noticed. Many stuffs that were originally come from nature and will return to it. My comfortable lifestyle is possible because of many sacrifice and exploitation. So, I learnt to treasure it, take care of it, and especially trying to repay it back.

Some things are memorable, including the ASEP and AEON team. You all rock! I will also not forget the hilarious photographer who asked us to say ‘ASEP’ instead of cheese. Here, we got you a meme already!

I tend to see ASEP 2018 as positive experience for me, not the whole packet of expectation yet will be memorable and useful for my future steps. 

My Split Persona

Hello people, I seem like an out of reach after hitting 15 years old!

By the way, last year I finished a book from Simone Beauvoir, one of early modern feminist thinker. I found many of her writing is very relatable but in this post let me discuss a clip of her work:

She will often be afraid of missing her destiny as a
woman if she gives herself over entirely to any undertaking. She does
not admit this feeling to herself: but it is there, it distorts all her best
efforts, it sets up limits. In any case, the woman who works wants to
reconcile her success with purely feminine successes; that not only
requires devoting considerable time to her appearance and beauty but
also, what is more serious, implies that her vital interests are divided.
Outside of his regular studies, the male student amuses himself by
freely exercising his mind, and from there emerge his best
discoveries; the woman’s daydreams are oriented in a different
direction: she will think of her physical appearance, of man, of love,
she will give the bare minimum to her studies to her career, whereas
in these areas nothing is as necessary as the superfluous. It is not a
question of mental weakness, of a lack of concentration, but of a split
in her interests that do not coincide well. A vicious circle is knotted
here: people are often surprised to see how easily a woman gives up
music, studies, or a job as soon as she has found a husband; this is
because she had committed too little of herself to her projects to derive
benefit from their accomplishment. Everything converges to hold back
her personal ambition while enormous social pressure encourages her
to find a social position and justification in marriage

Last year, I unlocked an achievement to realize my passion in environmental activity. I joined an event that focused of preserving rainforest and working for sustainable palm oil production.

However, at that time I realized that I got 20's girl syndrome.
It is a clip from my own diary:

It has gotten into me! 20's syndrome that is seeking for identity and for girl, getting skincare routine!!!
Now i am obsessed like miranda kerr and her 7 product routine everyfucking night like what the hell?
Okay i am so freaked out with everyone routine and how to maintain skin beauty, and i was like left by the bus

The discussion of feminism is actually very big issue at working woman in Indonesia. In fact, there are many women who have no hesitation to postpone their marriage to advance their career.
As you know, aside from my interest in environment and fashion, I am also an engineering student. My senior shared her experience in working a difficult condition at certain chemical industry plan. One of the problem is her sex. She is a woman and many people on the site commented about how rare to find women there and somehow joked about it. She also commented about the ethic at that plan which required her to overwork and collapse all the way.

Aside from social expectation that she encountered, it is not a rare phenomenon that there is a battle inside, which is described perfectly by Simone.

It is something that I compelled to write. I feel that way.

When I went to Malaysia, most girls are wearing make up and even shy away from a photoshoot when they are not wearing it.
Even though how much career and social activity I want to attend, my mind cannot reconcile to the fact that I should still be looking good while doing it. In fact one of friend, a talented student of my batch, described her engineering aspiration of female engineer as 'Doing difficult stuff while looking beautiful in it'.

It is a sad journey that somehow my intellectual capacity is not really putting effort to develop real impact on technology, but I cannot help that my mind is wandering in the simple things girl are thinking. I never feel it is wrong to begin with and I like being a woman. Yet, I wonder if this mind that geared on other priority during her college is because the very much reason Simone said in her book.

I work like this : if I don't have time, or the labour I will do is outdoor, I will not put make up on. However if there is sufficient time and I will not sweat, I put make up.

The problem about 'woman mind and priority' is still a struggle in Indonesia. Here the newer 'kedok' or scheme that woman use excessively to justify their education:
Woman education,for who?

Woman will answer that they will converge their feminine role and their education eventually. Woman should study because they will be the first teacher for their children and will be able to support their husband better, the writer gave a great punchback : woman education is like a computer that need update! How ironic!

I study for myself as selfish as I am like any other man on planet!

However I am very optimistic. In Indonesia, the democracy is giving a good shot for woman to actually have opinion about their education anad even take risk to ignore the definitive feminity which is holding back their career and skill.
This year I will try to advance my own activity to once again 'attempt' to apply for an international discussion. I got a good opportunity to work with a good team and developing a power storage prototype. Somehow these many chances that I got triggered me to do a whole blown promotion of my university, lol. I am very honored to be part of it.

Even though up to now, I still don't have decision about what to do with the feminine role I am expected to assume, I don't want to vilify it. In fact, I really want to be a good parent one day.
However for now, as I don't have partner , s I am lucky to get many chance to develop my skill and be engineer not female engineer.

Because I know I am capable because of my intellect not my sex.

Saturday, January 6, 2018

Pengalaman Menggunakan BPJS

Dalam kesempatan kali ini, saya ingin membagikan pengalaman saya menggunakan BPJS. Oleh sebab BPJS merupakan jaminan kesehatan Indonesia, maka blog saya kali ini ditulis dalam bahasa Indonesia.

Hasil gambar untuk bpjs

Awal mula menjadi peserta BPJS

Sejak 2014, saya sudah lama membayarkan asuransi kesehatan BPJS kelas I. Kadang-kadang, ketika saya membayar di Indomaret, saya suka mendapat hadiah promosi seperti susu dan minuman lain. Meski demikian, kebanyakan promo ini tidak tetap dan seringkali kasir beralasan "stok tidak ada".

Alasan keluarga saya mengikuti BPJS saat itu tentu tidak mengharapkan jatuh sakit, melainkan bersedekah. Dalam pemahaman keluarga saya, sistem BPJS meliputi menghimpun uang dari para peserta lalu membayarkannya kepada pihak-pihak lain yang sakit. Ada tetangga saya yang menolak menggunakan BPJS karena "uang tidak kembali", berbanding terbalik dengan beberapa jaminan kesehatan swasta yang menawarkan pengembalian uang jika tidak digunakan.

Benar sekali istilah SADIKIN (sakit sedikit miskin) dahulu. Mental yang ditanam untuk masyarakat miskin atau ekonomi menengah ke bawah adalah "yang miskin dilarang sakit".

Penyebab saya menggunakan BPJS

Pada awal semester tiga, saya dikejutkan dengan kehadiran floater di mata saya. Berbekal riset internet melalui WebMD dan forum pasien, saya dikejutkan bahwa kemunculan floater yang tiba-tiba bisa mengindikasikan robeknya retina-suatu kondisi berbahaya yang mengancam penglihatan. Selama beberapa bulan saya ragu dan pemikiran berkecamuk. Saya memiliki faktor risiko ablasio karena miopia saya yang moderat. Meski sudah 5 tahun tidak mengganti kacamata, saya tahu bahwa peluang itu ada.

Dalam memutuskan akan melakukan pemeriksaan atau tidak, ketakutan saya berlandaskan dua hal:
1. Biaya operasi
2. Waktu pemulihan yang akan mengganggu jadwal saya sebagai mahasiswa

Namun, akhirnya saya memberanikan diri untuk melakukan pemeriksaan. Berdasar berbagai sumber dikatakan bahwa memeriksa ablaso tidak bisa dilakukan oleh dokter umum. Masalahnya, melakukan konsultasi dengan dokter spesialis cukup mahal. Pengalaman saya waktu berumur 13 tahun ke dokter THT, saya kira-kira habis 600 ribu rupiah sekali konsultasi.

Benar sekali istilah SADIKIN (sakit sedikit miskin) dahulu. Mental yang ditanam untuk masyarakat miskin atau ekonomi menengah ke bawah adalah "yang miskin dilarang sakit". Meski begitu, saya memutuskan tetap harus diperiksa.

Keuntungan BPJS sudah banyak saya dengar, meski kekurangannya juga tidak kalah banyak. Dengan membayar dari 25 ribu hinga 80 ribu rupiah, pengobatan lebih lanjut tidak perlu bayar lagi. Seorang saudara saya pernah menjalani operasi pemasangan cincin jantung yang tidak mengeluarkan uang sepeser pun(kecuali untuk fotokopi KK, KTP, dan surat administrasi lain). Akhirnya, saya pun mengecek mata saya dengan BPJS.

Mekanisme BPJS memang cukup rumit, tidak bisa Anda datang langsung ke rumah sakit dan ditangani. Untuk pemeriksaan dan meminta rujukan pertama Anda harus mendatangi fasilitas kesehatan pertama di wilayah Anda. Fakses I itu meliputi puskesmas di kelurahan Anda.
gambar 1: alur menggunakan BPJS

Hal yang mungkin membuat orang enggan mengikuti alur ini adalah antrian di tiap proses. Di Faskes I, Anda harus mengambil nomor antrian yang cukup panjang. Bisa saya pastikan, di manapun Anda mendaftar BPJS, antrian untuk mendapat pelayanan akan cukup panjang.

Bukan hanya di faskes I, kemungkinan besar Anda juga harus mengantri di RS rujukan. Saat saya di hermina, saya menghabiskan waktu 4 jam mengantri dan menunggu dokter. Sementara di SMEC, seingat saya lebih lama karena ada beberapa kali tahap pemeriksaan.

Pengalaman Menunggu Antrian BPJS

Saya dua kali melakukan pemeriksaan mata, pertama di RS Hermina dan kedua di SMEC Jakarta. Pemeriksaan pertama dilakukan dengan slit lamp. Saat itu saya masih ragu sebab berdasar jurnal ini, ada 11% kemungkinan pemeriksaan tidak berhasil mendeteksi robekan retina.

Setelah 1 bulan, saya kembali melakukan pemeriksaan yang lebih komprehensif di RS khusus mata SMEC Jakarta. Keputusan saya ini dirasa tepat karena pelayanan di SMEC cukup komprehensif yang meliputi tes refraksi mata (mendeteksi miopia, hipermetropi, dan astigmatisme) dan dilanjutkan dengan optamologis umum. Saat saya menyampaikan keluhan saya, dokter mata sudah cukup responsif dan menduga keluhan saya. Segera dia menawarkan saya untuk mengecek retina langsung dengan dokter yang bekerja di ruang sebelahnya. Saya mengambil rujukan pada hari itu juga tentu karena saya malas datang lagi di lain hari dan mengikuti prosedur administratif yang panjang. Pada hari itu juga, saya mengecek retina saya.

Kembali saya mengantri. Sebelum dicek, kedua mata saya ditetesi oleh obat pembesar pupil. Saya sudah menduga prosedur ini dalam pemeriksaan retina. Metode ini disebut dilated eye examination yang merupakan prosedur dasar dalam memeriksa retina. Obat yang digunakan memerlukan waktu untuk bekerja. Dalam pengalaman saya, butuh 4-5 kali tetes sambil menunggu antrian. Yesss... saya menunggu lagi sekitar 1 jam untuk melakukan pemeriksaan retina.

Puji Tuhan, retina saya baik-baik saja meski dengan berbagai visual noise(kebisingan penglihatan) dan floaters. Setidaknya saya masih diberi kesempatan untuk melihat. Dokter meresepkan vitrolenta untuk floaters(yang membuat saya bertanya-tanya mengenai cara kerjanya terkait zat aktifnya "hanya" garam KI dan NaI-ehem maafkan jiwa kimiawan saya yang bangkit dan heran).

Dalam menangani ablasio, setahu saya harus dilakukan secepatnya sebelum mencapai makula. Saya lihat RS SMEC ini telah memiliki fasilitas yang HARUS didatangi secepatnya jika Anda mengalami ablasio(yaitu ruang gawat darurat khusus mata).  Selain banyak bersyukur, saya rasa fasilitas BPJS ini bisa menjadi jembatan bagi keluarga berpenghasilan rendah yang jarang sekali punya akses untuk menjaga kesehatan jasmaninya.


-Jaminan kesehatan yang murah
-Boleh diakses oleh semua golongan baik miskin, menengah, dan kaya
-Bisa digunakan untuk membeli kacamata, cabut gigi, dan operasi besar lain juga.
-peluang bisnis fotokopi di sekitar RS yang menerima BPJS :P
percayalah, banyak sekali pasien baru tiap hari yang sering lupa menyiapkan fotokopi berkas!

-Antrian sangat panjang. Di SMEC, ada berlapis-lapis antrian dengan tenaga kesehatan dokter yang praktik tiap harinya sekitar 2-3 orang saja. Belum bagian administrasi yang hanya diisi 5-6 orang. Ruang tunggu sangat sempit dan tidak dapat menampung ratusan pasien tiap harinya.
-Prosedur berlapis
-Hanya dapat mengakses fasilitas kesehatan di wilayahnya. Misal, saya tinggal di Jakarta Timur sehingga saya tidak bisa mendapat akses konsultasi ke wilayah Jakarta Pusat(misal RSCM Kirana) jika tidak dirujuk oleh dokter matanya langsung.
-Jumlah rumah sakit yang mengikuti BPJS masih kurang padahal dibutuhkan. Saya sangat berharap RS spesialis di Indonesia bisa hadir di tiap wilayah lingkup BPJS. Misal RS kanker di Indonesia yang terbatas sehingga diagnosis awal menjadi terbatas pula. Akhirnya, banyak pasien kanker yang baru mendapat diagnosis tepat setelah stadium lanjut. Padahal, jika sudah muncul kecurigaan terhadap penyakit yang dideritanya, setiap warga negara berhak untuk mendapat diagnosis komprehensif.

Dalam proyek saya berikutnya, saya tertarik untuk mencari solusi dalam memperluas akses kesehatan bagi masyarakat-despite being engineer- termasuk cara untuk memperbaiki sistem BPJS. Semoga saja kita semua kerap diberkati kesehatan dan keinginan untuk memperbaiki sekitar kita.

Friday, January 5, 2018

What Happened When You're 17

So yep I'm 19 and I have just posted what happened in my 17 now.

Basically, mediocre teenagers in their 17 delegates what they called as SWEET 17. I was part of the hype and I can tell you 17 was by far one of the best year in my life, maybe rank first or second.
In my 17, I went to party a lot. I am nurtured as homegirl which is pretty conservative way to raise a girl. Precisely, since my senior high school day, I was liberated more than I had been.

I went to karoke a lot, partying study in friends house, making base, and coming home late. One of my close friends delegated her sweet seventeen next to notorious Jakarta bay. But it was late night, so no one bother to see the color of the water.

This one is the infamous scandalous photo. Well, I'm just making it up because they look good together.

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Black Dress Never Does Wrong

Good morning fellas!

It seems blogger has become lesser option in this year especially with the growing community of instagram. I've started to notice that the flexibility of instagram has shifted flocks to there (including sponsorship and endorsement). However, I still have faith in blogging world as I think I can elaborate much more in a blog post than instagram. If you think you'll can reach me better in instagram, go follow my account @jesslare

Talking about fashion lately, It's safe to say LBD is a timeless option to be stylish. Several weeks ago. I attended a wedding ceremony in black dress, of course wishing no ill to the bride.

I have pretty weird body proportion. My upper body has low capability to store fat, resulting my slim arms, waist and breasts. But when it comes to my hip and buttocks, it gruesomely store excessive fat there than anywhere else. It makes my skin around them stretch out of limit. It become problem when I wear pants because there's thin available 'exactly' fit jeans. I have very small calf and it seems my middle body potrude out of line. It's not that I hate them or I'm not confident. I just have obsession to excellent proportion, and somehow it's a bit off.

To tackle it, I wear clothings which are capable to flaunt the good and fix the bad. LBD is the most attractive option. This is why I picked them in the store.

It reminds me of my old saying: don't wear beautiful clothes, wear clothes that make you beautiful. It sounds so superficial in this era but it's indeed still a good advice of picking outfits.

Golden rose sneaker-Nike
Glitter slingbag

By the way, if you're familiar with my instagram, you might realize my current business. I'm delegating synthetic biology conference in my university. That was such a good talk.
I also contributed in certain news platform. That platform is nice for attracting million readers, but pitifully it's hard for me to engage the readers on serious matter. I wrote several articles and the ratings are vary. It seems a dumbed-down, cognitive biased resounding type of article gets more views than educative ones.

It makes me sad.

Saturday, July 22, 2017

How to wear: DENIM VEST


That's right, I'm back from lengthy hiatus. My previous posts are not deleted yet, but I put it in draft as I think I need to evaluate my old thoughts (I'm pretty embarassed too as now I'm publicly open this blog to my acquaintance). 

First of all, I want to apologize. For every devoted blog readers, every annoyed bloggers, and every sponsors for my past actions, if it's not very convenient to you. I'm also sorry to anyone who tried to reach me via e-mail, I've changed it. Now you can contact me on

Pretty much, I have updated my links about me and sponsorship contact. I hope you all mind to reread everything.

My high school day totally worn me out, but it's worth it because I have changed a lot and learned a lot those days. Unfortunately the hectic schedule didn't allow me to post in this blog very much. I also don't promise much of numerous posts in my college life. As you see, I study engineering and I think it's pretty self-explanatory,

By the way, I'm not really out from fashion life, but I guess the direction of this blog will be different. It's not going to be only FASHION BLOG. I think it will be fashion and lifestyle, maybe my own thoughts on current issue.

If you're reminded, the last time I posted fashion I was like 14, now I'm 19 and still alive. 
I hope I can catch up with the latest trend, the latest issue, and everything in blogger world. I hope this blog will be better after the hiatus. I will fill the gap of 5 years in next feed


Denim is not something that will get away from fashion any time soon. Lately, I bought a denim vest that I believe is no more than 10 USD. I am very excited to style it up to certain degree here as I have just worn it for several occasions.

The first one is during M's birthday surprise party. I wore it with pretty basic clothings available. 

I'm a fan of blue so I unconciously buy many blue jeans and left nothing but one white jeans. In this picture, you can clearly see that the color is not very different with the tank top. But my tank top is black, and the jeans are blue. Actually I recommend you to put on different colors, this style is in shortage of supply.
Buccheri shoes
blue jeans
black tank top
denim vest

Apparently you can also wear it with dress like how my friend, Ferent, wore it. As you can see, she mixed strapless dress with denim vest.

I like my denim vest. I liked the bleached end and I like the stud around the collar.

Yesterday, I got another occasion to wear my denim vest.
I call this style preppy with twist. What do you think it's better called?

white long sleeve shirt
Denim vest
Glittering straps bag
Silver bow
Nike Gold rose sneaker
black Miss Fox skirt

You can combine your weekly go-to-church look with denim to rock it even more. I also put on silver bow here. This silver bow is actually a company accessories for my v-neck shirt I wore here. But I like it better with this outfit.

it's a couple with mom

What may become twist is my Nike gold rose sneaker. I admit its color is extremely pretty. In my eyes, those can go well with my outfit.

As an engineering student, I'm not wearing this outfit very much to college, as I'm too lazy to pick up clothes in the morning. I went to my university by train, and it is pretty far. Not to mention my vast campus requires me to walk more.

I might write more about my college life soon!:p Stay tune

Monday, July 4, 2016

Good Day to Back and Go

I feel sorry to leave my blog pretty long. Guess how much? About three years and I don't think I will do better this time. I think my writing in this blog will be intermittent and uncertain.

I'm grateful to fill my life outside this blog and experience many new stuffs.
I also apologize for my past self which somehow disturbed you with my follow for follow. I'm not buying those things again.

I could not promise this blog to be very active.

I have been accepted in national university in my country, majoring chemical engineering and I'm cocksure it will be very hectic. The engineering also implies that I won't be exceeding certain limit in styling up. I choose basic and comfy clothes most of time. I don't have an abundance of leisure too.
Maybe you're asking what did I do for several years?
I put my eyes and heart on my study. Microscopic world took my interest all of the sudden and that's why I choose chemical engineering.
I attended olympiad class in my school. My school was not very outstanding in academic competition but they did support me so much. I'm lucky I won bronze medal in my second chance.
I hope I can do much but I still got works to do.

Here are some nice photos I've taken these past years.

  a bit of fashion part?

  a bit academic side?

Making new amazing friends on national olympiad camp!

we had fun during camp too!!

We enrolled by chance!

My friend, Hugo, my math tutor and excels at almost everything! He can speak many languages and I'm still muttering English!

squad(?), and best friends I found in SHS!

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