Saturday, May 16, 2020

Can Beautiful Things Be Sustainable?


We look onto forest and we feel grateful for what we see. Outdoor has been a longstanding source of inspiration for human, and now in quarantine, we’re robbed of it. Simone Beauvoir wrote in Second Sex, that nature has special position relative to woman. She wrote, ardently:

“Life is not only immanence and repetition: it is also a dazzling face of light; in flowering meadows, it is revealed as Beauty..... ; she finds it intoxicating to be alone, sovereign on the hillside; she is no longer spouse, mother, housewife, but a human being; she contemplates the passive world: and she recalls that she is a whole consciousness, an irreducible freedom. In front of the mystery of water and the mountain summit’s thrust, male supremacy is abolished; walking through the heather, dipping her hand in the river, she lives not for others but for herself.” 

We appreciate beauty and crave for it.

In our life, we adorned our living space with not only essential things but also a touch of beauty. Starting from our own home, our desk, our garden, our dress, and our face. We appreciate it so much that it become an option of preference for us. Now, in the age of industrial revolutions, our options expand numerously because the unprecendented accumulation of wealth. The choice of beauty becomes abundant, and somehow exploitative.





To enjoy our lavish lifestyle we have now but also minding the environment is not easy way to do. Fortunately, there are a lot of companies who are trying their best to adjust their business model and being sustainable.



Photowall is one of the most unique company out there. First of all, because what they’re selling is home decor, such as wallpaper and poster. Yet, their approach to balance the beauty of your personal space and environment is astonishing. In upcoming collaboration, I will be reviewing their product in accordance to their environmental policy.
  • Their unique supply chain commitment: All production is to order, which means we only produce the quantity of products required, none are held in stock or discarded un-necessarily.
  •  Their sustainable canvas material (100% cotton), adhesive (biodegradability), and wrapping. So look forward for it



Why this kind of thing important?

It is because that is the reality of our life. We love beautiful things as well as we like to be compassionate to the world God’s given to us. In another sector, we might as well rethink our choices, such as in beauty industry and our marketplace. In beauty industry, many products are arranged  and advertised in such a way, with each own benefit, which if are clustered as routine and religiously followed, will ‘grace’ women with beauty she desired.


However, it is utterly important for us, as consumer who interacts daily with this choice of purchase to practice “sustainable purchasing”. The problem with beauty industry is how it aims for profit so much that they’re dumping a lot of product, with no essential benefit to skin and create a lot of waste by manufacturing both the ingredients and the packaging. The single usage type beauty treatment such as sheet mask is one controversial products, there currently packaged in less sustainable way. What is more regrettable is there are a lot of consumers who are not “use up” beauty product and left it into expiration date because they are buying more than their skin needs.

Let’s be real, no one has skin with facial surface area, more than 1 m2  so why put a gigantic volume of products on it?

However still, we still like to use those products. Even more as creature who admires beauty, human has created a lot of art on the surface on earth and onto itself with beauty product and make up. The boom of beauty industry trend makes personal beauty a more affordable and optional thing that reach more people than in the past.

The beauty does not only stop on ourselves, but stuff around us. Several years ago, I went on a trip to promote rain forest sustainability with AEON. This Japanese brand malls have also been working on making their supply chain become more sustainable and also incorporate nature in the architecture of their mall. If you come to visit Indonesia, you can find that this company has open space type architecture.

Definitely, to obtain living as sustainable as possible needs a lot of commitment. After all, we need to be reprimanded so that we’re not indulging ourselves so much in greed, that cause damaging effect for life around us, at present and in the future. Beauty can be more simple and modest. There are a long ways to go to make sustainability as common lifestyle, but it doesn’t mean we need to let go of beauty.

Sunday, October 6, 2019

Vulnerability as Main Taste of Christian doctrine

This is the post which make me hate many regulations in Indonesia that does not allow me to speak in way I believe! It is easily exploited and do a micromanagement of each people faith and thoughts. 

I wish Indonesia would delete all the restricting free speech regulation and allow people to promote their own faith as far as not coercing the lifestyle with violence and threat. 

In comparative story of Solomon, genesis and other book, I found that different Abrahamic religion taught a slight different flavor of what it is, making them different religion on their own.
Even though, we all believe in divine revelation, there's several thing in a way I found it interesting. Christian as a main doctrine in the West has not been cherished so much it is used to. Even though, the Christian way of life is becoming more universal in western philosophy.

From my point of view, I feel pre-Christian* basic is more about promise - a longing wish. Even though Christian is notorious in waiting of the return of Christ, in fact I always feel this savior thing is more close to pre-Christian. After all in Christian theology, we already know the savior.
On the other, post-Christian* way is a complete and perfect way, which means also micromanagement to a deeper level. Because the premise is perfection, I am somehow baffled how post-Christian story weave story of Solomon, David and other king/prophet into a really divine, infallible sacred people. It feels wrong to criticize prophets and it is taken as a grand of perfection. Even the last prophet is deemed as the most perfect man.

The perfectionist approach of post-Christian is really promising and also unrealistic
Because whatever they say as perfect, it is never actually under scope. What is definition of perfect in that way? Infallible? Most of the time, it is the interpretation, perfection is infallible.

Even though there are actions which we say is amoral and a sin, it is still seen as perfection.

And the saddest thing is we're living in an imperfect, fallible world.
The Christian way is very weird and many atheist will say stupidly magical. The God which is mocked as unnecessary person in history that died in humiliated way. It is a common despise for many people to mock Christian God.

However, it is something that makes it unique. It embraces imperfection
I am so surprised that there are many Christians, who are still thinking people who act as 'main character' in each book as an example. After finishing old and new testament, I never feel that it is the purpose from the first place. Every story in old testament is more like every failure of man and the broken relationship of God and human. The imperfection, sin, dispute of man what makes it felt like made out of fabric of this world.
If we were scrolling through answer about what is the most disgusting thing in bible, there will be many people list story of Lot and her daughters, Leviticus law, etc. It is funny to think that actually many people both Christian and not Christian, would consider that it should be done just because it is written in 'Holy Book'. Catholic rigid academic approach is more appropriate to lay base why the story is included in the first place.

In fact the main theme of old testament even get stronger in new testament, it is about vulnerability. Even God as Son of Man is vulnerable. The one people can mock up to this point.

Vulnerable is seen as weakness. I always think amongst Abrahamic religion, Christian way is the weakest and stupidest. We man, always aspire to be God, to be perfect. Then, why a holy book put so much story of failure of men? How can a man so weak weave a history and setting moral foundation?

I asked it to Jesslyn once. I got the typical answer of Christian girl. I know it but I never 'memaklumi itu'
But the more I grow into a person, I began to recognize myself. I am always striving for perfection and even try not to show my tears. I hid my background, I hid my house, I never invite someone there, because I am actually very afraid of judgement and being vulnerable in front of anyone. While, my deepest heart yearn for someone I can trust even in my most vulnerable term.

After all, a man is weak, mortal, and vulnerable. There is no perfect man but we hate our weakness, mortality, and vulnerability as a man. In the story of other gods, we always strive to overcome it and become what we are not, a God. It is the story of Adam and Eve. If we want to march forward and really transcend ourselves, do we need to be perfect?

Maybe we need to be but to be perfect, whatever we mean it is, we should never avoid our weakness and pretend we're not vulnerable. By absolving the fact we're just flesh and can be killed, can be seduced, can be angered, can be humiliated, I think it is the biggest strength of all. To swallow our ego and be ourselves, a human.

*Pre Christian and Post Christian is used not to make this blog a bait for bigot.

Friday, August 30, 2019

My Granie's Advice

My Grandmother came from a wealthy family. She is a beloved daughter in patriarchal society and she was married off early to my Grandfather because her mother died when she's young.

However, the wealth of her family was inherited to the son bloodline and then she's sent off with spare money from her father. Despite the amount of wealth, my Grandmother's brother didn't flourish in a well-off and healthy family. Being a greedy individual with narrow mindset, all he thought was the dead of my Great Grandfather and the inheritance.

He said once "Here in our land, I provide your deathbed" to my Grandmother. But, God willing, He slept his deathbed first.
________________________________________________________________________

Life was not very friendly to Grandma because my Grandpa was not articulate to financial stuff.
My Grandma was an illiterate woman of her era, she could count but not read nor write [she might also be Prophetess].

I remembered her greater advice to us. She understood that she lacks education and she's bad on providing in home education due to her none literacy skill, so she only had one advice that echoed through my life.
"You should socialize and listen to educated people. From them, we derive great information and knowledge."

Most poor people have poor mentality. It is a fact. I am familiar to them and I will explain why.

I am a driven ambitious woman because my vision is a restorationist one, like how Jews long to return to Israel, it is how I long to bring Gold, Glory, and Gospel in the name of my family. However, I Don't know how to do it.

It is a problem faced of every generation of humanity, we don't know what is our fate and what should we do. How many time have you bullshited through a job interview about your vision in 5 years?

During my schooldays, everything is easy because there's a path created in front of us. My anxiety began when I was seeking college. I don't have enough money to fund the private university but taking a big turn to public university is a gigantic decision.

I want to enter an elite university in my country with the lack of understanding of what I will face. It is my teacher, bu Ratna who's very eager to motivate Marsud's student to enter elite public university like UI, ITB, and UGM. In Indonesia, we can enter that university in a competitive entrance examination like SNMPTN and SMBPTN. Since, I didn't have anything in my CV except one national Bronze medal for Chemistry, I had to fight in SBMPTN.

Now, I am a student of that desired university, I asked myself: What made me different than other people?

I think it comes back to my Granie advice: This the place with most opportunity to learn, connect, and get the first seat!


 Hasil gambar untuk universitas indonesia
Now hear from this answer of Quora:
What makes students from elite schools special?from Jessica Su

Every accomplished person I know had a mentor.  Usually their parents, sometimes teachers or friends.  Kids don't just start thinking "I want to go to MIT in 4 years, so I'd better start doing math contests, and getting research internships, and self-studying AP classes so I can take tests my school doesn't offer."  Someone had to tell them those things existed, and that they could actually do them.
Similarly, most kids don't think "I want to go work at a trading firm" or "I'm going to intern at Google my freshman year" until they go to a top school and see what their classmates are doing, and realize they can do the same things.  This alone gives kids from top schools a huge advantage in the job market.


Hasil gambar untuk universitas indonesia
hello sunrise! Yellow as we are
Elite schools don't only provide intellectual capacity but also access to greater opportunity, in which I never feel in any previous place of my life. People like to underestimate the power of information.

No, Not only connection or orang dalam which we like to joke in job market. It is a simple thing as : aware there is an opportunity out there.
In what I knew, is a freaking priviledge. 
Most poor people lacks of this. 

LIKE SERIOUSLY!

Mentally, poor people has poor self control. When you're battling to provide your lower Maslow Pyramid, you will be grateful to get the short term reward/distraction in any time. They lack of patient and most of them don't see the point of it. It is something so mindboggling for many educated people who came from educated and priviledge family. They don't understand why poor people are 'satisfied' and 'not working hard' from their miserable condition.

Being poor is also a strip of dignity. Rarely people think about dignity of other human being which is lacking of cash and lacking of attitude. Once, I was attending a routine mass in my school and a sister told a story about her charity work. She called that a man she wanted to help is such a proud man that didn't think he need any of their help. It was a sudden pierce to my heart even I didn't know that man.

My father is a type who will shy away from charity even I begged him to take the cutting from my school fee by talking to the head nun. It's something so mindboggling when the person who needs it refuse coming from it because they want 'merit based' prize rather than 'charity based'. And at the same time, the rich likes to exploit it shamelessly!

It's because people like this, you see poor people with mercy and undignified action. You wanna help but you help them by stripping their dignity. They have faced enough humiliation day by day and they don't believe in free stuffs.

They also lacks of information. That's why they think taking free stuffs without payback is a bogus. They don't understand strategy from company, CSR event and many opportunity which slipped through the wind because of their poor connection.

Now if you're one of that struggling poor that tried to go step by step from the spiral of poverty, I really recommend trying to find a good spot where you can learn, connect, and get the first seat. It may be by attending elite university, it maybe by finding good mentor, but my grannie's advice still stand: Find someone you can listen to and derive knowledge from them. 
Their mouth is spitting of opportunity of better life

It is a really July experience that convince me I had to say all of this.

As you see, I am like any other students, I don't know what to do with life and what I will do. In fact, I am tumbling here and there to find something that will suit me.
One day, an energy management company that I didn't even know come for a roadshow in my university. I was enticed because I got informed from BEM OA that they would provide free lunch!

So basically this company, Schneider Electric is having a roadshow about their competition called Go Green In The City. My senior and my ambitious fellowmate were the winner from Indonesia and even competed in USA. I was astounded because their idea sounds cool and they both have great public speaking. I was so interested and my friend recruited me to 'try' for the competition [moreover it was free competition, no entrance paycheck]. So simple thing like that, a campus roadshow, opened a new path.

All in all, we succeeded to top 5 finalist in Indonesia and we had opportunity to be mentored by Schneider employer. The mentoring is one of the most critical step and beneficial because you can meet and learn from new people. They gave many insights from different perspective about our idea. My friend was also very eager like sponge who tried to reach out and milk ideas from many people. They are so kind that I cannot believe it at first, why would they do this anyway? But that kind of thinking my poor mentality should leave.

Opportunity is real and people are willing to help. They have their own reason and agenda, but in such opportunity, don't hold back.

My 3 months holiday is surprisingly filled with many useful experience. From my internship at chemical company[in other story maybe] and my 'semi internship' in electrical company. It was so intense and really kicking me out from comfort zone.

I am also lucky that I can find like-minded people and people who are not holding back to give opinion about you and what to improve. My team mate here is an amazing girl who can make presentation and telling me 'to be cooperative'. Now you can spot your weakness! And learn to improve it as you have friends who is ready to embark suffering with insufferable guy!

In my previos posts, I have shared my FOMO in what's next?

I will say it is a side effect of many doors and seeing your friend doing so much thing you didn't do. The peer pressure and the opportunity can drag you to another adventure. However it is something crucial and I know it is what my Granie is telling.

I am maturing through trial error in this university.I don't know what will happen to me and what I will do. Other thing that I find from my journey here and there is I find a meaning in sharing and I find a meaning to provide what is essential for life. My idea was about providing water and energy. The interaction, the time I sacrifice to speak with many people, the mistake I made along the way, the people I pissed, it helps me to redirect my path again. It makes me have a vision and dream. I really want to provide both water and energy for myself and for other people. Today it is still an idea, but I am open to other opportunity in developing them.

My only wish through this writing is: many students who are lost in their way and many poor people who are risk averse to opportunity, I wish you all don't get afraid to look for opportunity. It is the only way we can know of what we will do next.

Tuesday, June 11, 2019

Nourishing Friendship


Continuing life requires people to split into different path. Somehow their line will never cross again. To have a relationship in which favorable to anti bonding, there should be effort to make the bond stay. In parpis, I usually try annual meeting recipe and the frequent option is during the Lebaran.

It is very interesting event. We have reach a point in which my friend is now legal and allowed to drive his own car. It was only dream when we will travel with someone on the driving seat. It has been done now. Maybe we're still estranged in unrelatable universe but we still have common past.

The conversation around our junior high school life makes us realized how much time gone and how old we are. There are many things that change and sometimes it is a good one. In our JHS, there are a lot of brawl and life was difficult for us. There we are united as the odds around the odds. We know many people and we are usually the wallflower. We understand the condition of our friend and how we're treated badly. It is really time to accept there are many bad things have gone and how we have surf life and be together again.

My friend has understood my past ignorant self and how I cannot speak in understandable way with many people.
I understand how life was hard for my friend when she was bullied of her dancing career and her figure.
I understand how life was with my friend and her dramas.
We have come to term about what we have in past and what we have left. Still, we're still here with each other telling a whole new story of our different universe. The people we share joke with, is still the same people.I don't know what is ahead but thanks God, I still can befriend with these people.

Indeed time has changed.
For example, look how many ducklings have turned into fabulous ducks!









shoes- Nike Air Thea
Pants- Uniqlo
Hoodie Crop Tee- Stradivarius
Bag- En Ji




Life has splitted us and returned us back again.

Monday, June 10, 2019

Accomplished


The rush of what is next has been torturing me.

I am in the phase of life, in which, you're surrounded by the stream of what's next. Somehow, this feeling makes me wonder if I am an accomplished person or not.
But indeed, accomplish is laughable concept. Every time you get into next level by accomplishing things, you find the same cycle that you must do in order to catch up. Wondrous, if you realized this and somehow think : I know I will never be satisfied.

Somehow, you're grateful because when you reached the what's next, it means you have accomplished steps before or otherwise you know, you have been successful. But that's life, you don't stop there.
Eyes is not enough by seeing, people are not enough by eating. It will goes full cycle back.

The problem is like this, the moment you accomplished tremendous achievement, you feel a very wonderful joy. Then, the memory of the joy is stored in your memory. However, how much it is there, you cannot resuscitate it to feel the same joy by thinking past accomplishment. You need to move forward and move another mountain then you can feel another joy.

But the rush, is like a flowing water. It will continue.

I realize it is actually a coping mechanism, somethings that is born from evolution to drive you. A driving force to keep u alive and be the best species on earth.
However, this feeling is overwhelming too. Somehow the expectation goes up when you entered a new zone. You found people have more experience, have more accomplishments, have more 'joy'. And wonder ! Why do u only have one thing to cherish?

College life in Universitas Indonesia is really helping me. I am born with no connection and money. Yet, my family has great driving force. The fact that I am born as loser make me hates losing. The fact that I am surrounded by losers makes me hate losers.

I am someone who will never be satisfied. I know that. If you put a bar, I have exceeded everything. But to no one surprise, this girl find another higher bar.

Indeed she should move up right?
She introspect a lot of herself. It makes her wonder too.
Why would she is running against lucky rocket? But here, she knows that she will, but maybe she find something else. Some meaning of this running contest.

At least, this will make her alive. She will keep upgrading. Maybe, she will be the best one day.

However here, I dont want to be the best with the parameter other's make. That is her parameter that keeps her balance, being happy of what she has accomplished and what to accomplish, and being motivated to find more, experience more by what other have laid base.

Saturday, June 8, 2019

There are kind people everywhere


I feel never in my life a realization how unlikable i am. I remind a day when i ask in quora what is the point of being kind, but i am that ignorant and selfish because I never understand empathy and why should someone be kind.

What is the point?

In my life, i am surrounded by people who taught that there is no genuity and there should always be a payback. However there are a lot of people who never pay back. I remember om Teguan, one of some homeless desperate dude. I dunno what in my grandma my was that he treated him kindly and like usual, just some critics then that guy never really got friendly with my grandma, despite all kindness, food and other stuff he received from my grandma.

And from that day i also know that i really should not expect anything from being kind. My grandma should have not expected any payback of her voluntary action

Even i know she really doesnt mind but i really wonder if there were anyone out there who can have genuine feeling and will not be offended of how people payback such a kindness with a slap.

With my upbringing, I really never understand why should someone be so kind and sacrifice for other. You're all not Jesus!

It is really weird thing but maybe their kindness is actually something that will pay somehow. For example, it is me who can now only pray and such , i cannot payback something equally worthy of the kindness i receive from ka putra, bili and felix. If there is such media in which i can convey how i am happy and being helped because of them, i want to express my most genuine gratitude. Because i see and i experience life, but not so much people who are willingly to do kindness to such extend for someone who is rude, disturbing and maybe just an acquaintance to them.

I also thanks God to help me grow to this point. I am still dis lil bitch like usual and not really turn 180 into charming princess. I am just myself but I just think, it is unfair if I can give back to them but for the very least, I never really show how their kindness is not wasted on me.

Maybe i am not someone who deserve such kindness in the first place. But because they still give it to me anyway, thank you so much

Friday, March 29, 2019

ICECC 2019- Because Canopus is Second In Night Sky





There are many chances but no other like being with Canopus.

Last week , I was very down because the preparation for ICECC in Surabaya resulted in mess of our team. I got too conflicted to concord with my team leader's job schedule and his one sided decision, that deprives our physical and mental health.
I am a firm believer of not doing unnecessary [mostly] useless effort approaching the battle days, whatever type of battle. Indeed, so I recommended him to take a break and try to go with clear mind.

However it seems, he was not satisfy with bad stopping result recently, which actually mapped back to many brute decision, such as overworking, intimidating other team member every time we got weird stuffs, and other selfish action, which other team members hate.

I am a fighter so I fought for my freedom in choosing to come or not, establishing balance with my schedule for ONMIPA, mental health, and eye health. If there were never been this conflict before, I believed he would never realize his fault in leadership. The bullshit words of : USAHA TIDAK AKAN MENGKHIANATI HASIL is the dumbest claim ever. Indeed, we need to work hard but not that hard to point of exhaustive, stressing and impending creativity. To be noted here, no one guarantee your success eventhough you work so fukin hard. The last trial before we went to Surabaya was the most hateful moments I have.


Because I want to be professional, I try not to bring up the conflict upon the departure. We talked and familiarized like usual, and just took a relaxing enjoyable ride on train, despite we were bringing the hugest bagagge we could carry.

The tightness was loosening during trip to Surabaya. I know that I need not to be distracted in the real battle. I must put aside ego and personal feeling.  The fact that I don't expect anything good from my trip and just thinking of rushing back to university life turned out to make me find serendipity in Surabaya.

I actually love the trip, love the moments, love the competition.

I don't have bar to measure and things turn out to lay steadily like a carpet rolled below me.
The first day was spent to return energy and do lawyer like activity in technical meeting. It is always boggling that ITS make the most ambiguous, unclear rules and rundown in such big event like ICECC.


I know they're trying to maintain their long time winning strike, BUT B****! Don't wake up revolting spirit of UI student to ruminate the content of your guidelines!
The most surprising fact that we heard that time might be that we can use conventional battery to power arduino. The follow up of our vague plan was to create a battery powerful enough to power arduino, motor and bumper... So this news hit my electrical consultant like : I cancelled my decision not to run again this job, I will do it again then.

During PGD era, he was very stressed in picking up strategy to minimize power consumption of arduino, so our 7V,2A battery could run smoothly with minimal load. Now? It means one of his biggest worry can be thrown away out the window.

The first day, we decided to seek refuge in MCDonald as we were not allowed to run trial or play chemical in hotel. It is reasonable I know, but SHUFFLING team in random room was terrible idea. It makes our discussion become difficult and make a strange switching places amongst participants.

One of other participants are even more desperate that they do trial in front of a minimarket across our hotel like a homeless person. I really don't know who the f**k get the idea like : WOW Let's do trial in such ideal place where everyone can watch including unknowing passerby!

You get the idea.

The next day, presentation format is being showed as booth where everyone can ask everyone and everyone can be everywhere doing research. The judges will just passed you and asked questions. If they're interested so much, they will just talk very long and another unpublished rundown from ITS that you can only talk to judges in designated time, making it less flexible to explore and present how brilliant our idea was.


However, it was kind of success happy day. During Friday prayer, the girls even talked and discussed many stuffs we go through and how we have understood one another pretty well.  In conclusion, I feel pretty nice being there than being in university. It was so dreamy and I wonder that I am able to accomplish so many activities in a day.


During the night, we gathered around and discussed strategy. To be honest, it was much more prepared and precise than PGD era, despite still lacking back up plan when we faced condition like the surprising race day. I bought chattime finally! After being fed really unsavoury food at ITS.

love my black eyebrowsss
The problem started when we realized that we cannot get the rundown of team who performed first or last at once. It is being drawn successively. However, it turned out to be great idea that makes us more awoke in the first race.

However, in second race we're too lenient. Actually I hate it, the fact that people watch other people performance in the middle of preparation. Because FUK IT, there is nothing you can do about other team's performance at that time. They will succeed and you cannot prevent it, they will fail and everything there is out of your control. The important thing is to focus on stuff you can manipulate. Stuff that is under your control.

And that's another opportunity slipped from Canopus due to its inaction. Yet we're still getting pretty nice result. From report we received, we found out that, we're not only winning 2nd best presentation but also
-6th position overall
-2nd best safety
-2nd best car concept

That was definitely something that is a must or maybe I would say deserved by Canopus. I want to argue that we deserved better tbh because our battery was undergoing crazy changes until hitting that high efficiency. It was very fun nevertheless. I wish I can bring Canopus team to more victories and even AICHE

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