There are kind people everywhere

I feel never in my life a realization how unlikable i am. I remind a day when i ask in quora what is the point of being kind, but i am that ignorant and selfish because I never understand empathy and why should someone be kind.

What is the point?

In my life, i am surrounded by people who taught that there is no genuity and there should always be a payback. However there are a lot of people who never pay back. I remember om Teguan, one of some homeless desperate dude. I dunno what in my grandma my was that he treated him kindly and like usual, just some critics then that guy never really got friendly with my grandma, despite all kindness, food and other stuff he received from my grandma.

And from that day i also know that i really should not expect anything from being kind. My grandma should have not expected any payback of her voluntary action

Even i know she really doesnt mind but i really wonder if there were anyone out there who can have genuine feeling and will not be offended of how people payback such a kindness with a slap.

With my upbringing, I really never understand why should someone be so kind and sacrifice for other. You're all not Jesus!

It is really weird thing but maybe their kindness is actually something that will pay somehow. For example, it is me who can now only pray and such , i cannot payback something equally worthy of the kindness i receive from ka putra, bili and felix. If there is such media in which i can convey how i am happy and being helped because of them, i want to express my most genuine gratitude. Because i see and i experience life, but not so much people who are willingly to do kindness to such extend for someone who is rude, disturbing and maybe just an acquaintance to them.

I also thanks God to help me grow to this point. I am still dis lil bitch like usual and not really turn 180 into charming princess. I am just myself but I just think, it is unfair if I can give back to them but for the very least, I never really show how their kindness is not wasted on me.

Maybe i am not someone who deserve such kindness in the first place. But because they still give it to me anyway, thank you so much